Why is growing in a cardinal virtue so hard, and how can I make it much easier?

#14: Every tried to grow in self-discipline? It's not easy, is it?

#14 in the Superhabits series. If this is your first time reading about superhabits, you may want to start here.

Let’s begin by talking about why they are called "cardinal" virtues. "Cardinal" is from the Latin word cardo, a hinge or pivot. In addition to being central to our daily lives, these four habits are also pivotal, because many other superhabits turn on them. Take a look at the Anatomy of Superhabits, and you'll see that the cardinal superhabit of Courage has four associated superhabits (on the outer ring) and Self-Discipline has 15.

If you've been trying to grow in Self-discipline and finding it hard, here's why. You're actually trying to grow in 15 habits all at once: Restraint, Humility, Diligence, etc. What you should do is pick one of these, and begin practicing it. As you grow in it, you'll be growing in Self-discipline as well.

Let’s take a closer look. I've reproduced the Anatomy of Virtue here, so that you don't have to keep switching tabs. (It might be easier if you had a printed copy to follow along on; you can download that at the bottom of this page.)

Take a look at Courage, at about the 4 o'clock position. Courage is the superhabit for dealing with fear. Aquinas observed that Courage itself is most appropriate for facing deadly dangers: a warrior going into battle, a first responder rushing into a burning building or working in a hospital during a pandemic, or a mother about to give birth.

For all other types of fears, there are specific superhabits. Aquinas subdivided fears into two kinds: fears of challenges that can be overcome, and fears of challenges that can’t be overcome – such as a chronic illness – and must be endured. He then separates challenges that must be endured into mental challenges and physical challenges.

For enduring mental challenges, where you’re beset with fears, threats, worries, Aquinas identifies the habit of Resilience. For enduring physical challenges, where you’re dealing with health issues, tiredness, or a physical disability, the appropriate virtue is Perseverance. (There may also be cases where you face both mental and physical challenges, in which case you would need both habits.)

Resilience is the habit of maintaining mental toughness, of not giving in, and particularly of not letting negative emotions, particularly sorrow or sadness, divert you from the good work you want to do. Research shows that people with resilience have better psychological and physical health. People who are more resilient tend to have lower depression, stress, and burnout rates than those that have low resilience. And it’s not the case that people are resilient because they are healthier — it’s the other way around. Scholars have developed tools for helping people grow in resilience, and when they track them going through such a program, and compare them with similar people who don’t go through the program, they can actually observe improvements in physical and mental health in the group that went through the program.

Perseverance is the physical equivalent of resilience: not giving up even though you are tired or unwell. Studies suggest that perseverance is linked to happiness and to a higher quality of life. Research shows that individuals who possess high degrees of perseverance have the ability to delay gratification, self-regulate, and practice self-control. Studies also suggest that individuals that practice perseverance and have a positive outlook are at a lower risk for depression, anxiety, and panic disorders.

Self-discipline is the habit of only giving into your desires when it makes sense to do so. Aquinas divides Self-discipline — moving to the next ring on the Anatomy diagram — first by separating our desires into two kinds. The first group contains our primary, most powerful, desires: our physical desires, for nourishment and for sexual intercourse, and for physical things. These are powerful because the continuation of our species depends upon them: if we all stop eating or reproducing, the human race will die out, and if we don't have homes, clothing, etc., our lives would be pretty meagre. The second group includes all other desires. These are of two kinds: what we want, and how we want to live. Desires for what we want he then divides into desires to do things, to know things, and to control situations. Desires to do things he divided into desires to do trivial things and to do great things. The desire to do trivial things, impulsive things, is managed by the habit of Restraint, while the desire to do great things is managed by the habit of Humility.

And so on.

Now you know. If you've wondered why growing in Courage or Self-discipline is hard, it's because it's like trying to grow in four (in the case of Courage) or 15(!) in the case of Self-discipline, different superhabits at once. The solution is to pick just one, and work on it for a while. You could practice growing in Restraint, for example, and it will also lead you to growth in Self-discipline.

I will continue to get into more detail about how to grow in specific superhabits. If you have any questions or suggestions, areas you'd like to focus on, please let me know through the Comments.